Mental health deserves to be a priority for Mums, but for many, their own mental wellbeing is an afterthought. This blog is designed to make you think about how you’re really feeling and whether you’re giving yourself the same care and attention you give to everyone else.
Approximately one in four women in England experience perinatal mental health problems, equating to around 130,000 women each year.
World Mental Health Day took place on 10 October, designed to make people speak, but mental health matters every day of the year. Let's take a look at the importance of mental health, as well as five ways to prioritise your own mental wellbeing.
Being a Mum can mean having a long list of people and things to think about. School runs, work, meals, appointments, activities and everything in between can easily take priority.
But looking after your own mental health matters too. Here are five simple ways to make more space for it, without adding another huge task to your to-do list.
Why Mums need to prioritise their mental health
It's easy to put your own needs at the bottom of the list. You might tell yourself you'll have some time to yourself once the children are settled, work is less busy or the house is finally tidy. But before you know it, another day has gone by.
Prioritising your mental health doesn't mean you need to completely change your routine or find hours of free time. Small changes can make it easier to check in with yourself, ask for support and make time for things that help you feel more like you.
5 ways to prioritise your mental health
Here are 5 ways to prioritise your mental health as a Mum.
1. Make time for yourself
It doesn't have to be a whole day off or an expensive spa treatment.
It could be something as simple as:
- Going for a walk
- Meeting a friend for coffee
- Reading a few pages of a book
- Having a quiet cup of tea
- Watching your favourite programme
- Taking some time to sit and do absolutely nothing
The important thing is that you're doing something because you want or need it.
If finding time feels impossible, look at your week and choose one small pocket of time you can protect for yourself. Even 20 minutes can give you a chance to pause.
2. Talk about how you're feeling
You don't have to wait until you're really struggling before talking to someone. A conversation with your partner, friend, family member or someone else you trust can be a good place to start.
You don't even need to have the right words. You could simply say, “I've not been feeling like myself lately” or “things feel too busy at the moment.”
The NHS recommends talking to someone you trust if you're finding it difficult to manage your mental health, and says you can also speak to your GP or access NHS support if you need it. At the end of this article, you can learn more about the support available if you are struggling with your mental health.
Sometimes, saying how you're feeling out loud can be the first step towards getting the support you need.
3. Don't try to do everything yourself
Asking for help can be difficult, particularly if you're used to being the person everyone else relies on. But you don't have to manage everything alone.
Support can look different for everyone, so ask yourself what would actually be useful to you.
Could your partner take over the school run one day? Could a family member help with dinner? Could a friend look after the children while you have some time to yourself?
Remember, to prevent burnout, it’s important to accept support before you become overwhelmed.
4. Give yourself a break from the pressure to be perfect
There is no such thing as a perfect Mum. We all see the videos on social media of people who seem to have their life under control, which can feel very different to everyday reality when things don’t go to plan, dinner needs to be easy and you’re running thin on patience.
But that is normal and it’s important to be kind to yourself.
Try to notice when you're putting unrealistic pressure on yourself. Ask whether you'd expect the same standard from another Mum that you care about.
If the answer is no, perhaps it's time to give yourself some of that same understanding.
5. Check in with yourself regularly
It's easy to get so caught up in everyday life that you don't notice how you're actually doing.
Try making a quick mental check-in part of your routine.
Ask yourself:
- How am I feeling today?
- Have I had enough time to rest?
- Am I enjoying anything at the moment?
- Is there something that's been bothering me?
- Do I need to talk to someone?
The point is simply to notice what's going on, rather than constantly pushing your own feelings aside.
Mental health doesn't have to wait until you're struggling
Prioritising your mental health isn't only something to think about when things feel difficult. It can be part of everyday life, just like looking after your physical health.
That might mean making time for people who make you feel good, getting outside, finding activities you enjoy or simply recognising when you need a break.
There will still be busy days. You won't always have time for yourself, and that's OK.
The aim isn't to create another routine that you feel guilty about missing. It's about making your own wellbeing part of the picture too.
Where can Mums get mental health support in the UK?
If you're struggling with your mental health, you don't have to deal with it alone. The first step is to reach out to a healthcare professional or appropriate support service.
If you or someone else is in immediate danger or you don’t feel like you can keep yourself or someone else safe, call 999 or go to A&E.
You can also speak to your GP, contact NHS 111 and select the mental health option, or in many areas, refer yourself for free NHS talking therapies for common problems such as anxiety and depression.
You can also contact Samaritans for free on 116 123, at any time of day or night, if you need someone to talk to.
For information and support around mental health, you can also click here to visit Mind. They have a dedicated phone line to talk about your mental health or recommend specialist services and are available 9am-6pm Monday to Friday on 0300 102 1234.
Read more
For more helpful advice and support, explore the Mums Can Do resources for further reading on a range of topics for Mums.
Mental health FAQ
Mums can have lots of demands on their time and attention, which can make it easy to put their own wellbeing last. Making time to look after your mental health can help you recognise how you're feeling and identify when you might need extra support.
Start small. Make time for something you enjoy, talk to someone you trust or set aside a few minutes to check in with yourself. You don't need hours of free time to start paying more attention to your wellbeing.
No. Taking some time for yourself doesn't mean you care any less about your children or family. Rest, social time and activities you enjoy can all be part of looking after your overall wellbeing.
If you feel like you, or somebody else is in immediate danger, call 999 or go to A&E. Alternatively, you can speak to your GP, call NHS 111, or reach out to Samaritans for free on 116 123.
Don’t wait until mental health impacts your everyday life. If you're concerned about how you're feeling or it's affecting you day-to-day, speaking to your GP is a good place to start. NHS guidance also provides information about accessing talking therapies and urgent mental health support.